
This is hard for me, but I’m pushing myself out there anyway. I’m posting my latest Journal page, mainly because I like it so much. Well, I like it today.
Not so last week.
I wish I had remembered to take photos of the various stages that this went through- It was a telling sign of my lurking depression and mental outlook over the last few weeks… Not good at all.
Too many changes and disappointments. I got overwhelmed and went to a very negative, critical place.
I also slept… a lot.
But each day, I put a little more down on the page and got whatever it was- out of me. I started thinking about how I wanted it to be laid out, fixed. Then, each night I changed something a little. Covered this, added that.
Each time it transformed into the newer mindset I was in.
Funny how the whole page transformed in front of my eyes and seemed to pull me thru to a brighter place.
~Too much black and blue and purple –as if…! (bruised in spirit only tho’). Had to add some pink- my favorite color….
~Too disconnected…. had to add some doodles and swirls and brighter whites- to pull her together more and connect the pieces together-(ah ha! again!)
By the weekend, I had found some reprieve from work, my overly needy loved ones found other outlets! I did some laundry (monotonous and soothing somehow) and started feeling a little more like joining the world again.
What I was craving was uninterrupted time to myself-
to paint and play, to read and journal, meditate, pray and get my mind and thoughts sorted out. Really, no kidding??
I Know I Need those things to keep me sane. ALL of them.
But, But…
somehow I can quickly let it all go to the wayside and before I know it, BOOM, I end up bummed and depressed and obsessing about stuff again.
Lesson learned:
I will pay more attention to my own needs.
I will pay more attention to my art.
It speaks loudly and will help me if I listen.
Thanks ya’ll for letting me share.